not done not even close no pucuation lol just leav comments for the begging - July 29, 2011

it all started with a look then a sound she dident move much it was the first day at my new school and i was sitting in the office it felt like she had been staring at me for  five minutes like i was an alien then she started speaking it felt like knives " so you are the new girl stay out of the way dont get in trouble and stay in line one slip up and well you dont want that to happen " see i was sent to boarding school it all started when i was about seven years old and my parents got in a car accident my mom was driving and was prononced dead on the scene but my dad made it, the first couple months were the trickest first was the deniel then the guilt but we made it about three years later he started dating this girl named sue she had a duaghter who was 10 what a  cowinsidence she was  the same age as me i secretly think he was trying to find someone with a daughter but if he ever acually paid any attention to me he would know i hated the idea of a new step sister or step mom but he rarly paid any attention i spent more time with one of the many coworkers my father had working for him it had been this way since my moyher died  well back to the story after they were dating for a year they dicided to get merried

-elizibeth

 

elizibeth

Date: 01/17/2013

By: Lizzie

Subject: Good

Needs another paragraph or 2 but very interesting.

Date: 05/03/2012

By: Lola

Subject: Not to Bad

Add more in the paragraph, it isn't subsintive enough. And punctuation and spelling improvement. Good start though, make this your starting point and fix it before adding.

Date: 08/09/2011

By: Lady Stormparade

Subject: Interesting

Continue it. Add punctuation too!

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